WHAT IS GDS..
ARE YOU AT RISK?
<>Do you have GDS (Goat Delusional Syndrome)? There is no known cure.
We don't know how this disease is contracted,
the level of contagiousness, and very few, if any, approach to a full
recovery. There are many documented cases of people
remaining without symptoms for years, only to have the disease return
after many years of not keeping goats.
So "WHAT IS GDS AND ARE YOU AT RISK"?
Goat Delusional Syndrome
1. Frequent and ongoing conversations with one or more goats.
2. Assigning human attributes such as personality to goats (i.e., "That
goat is so selfish - such a snob - so possessive
- so jealous.")
3. Over-sensitivity and over-protectiveness (i.e., taking offense when
someone refers to goats as mere livestock).
4. Periodic insomnia due to worry about goats - walking out to the barn
after midnight just to "check on things."
5. Considering Christmas presents and/or treats for "special goats."
1. Hugging and kissing goats - even BUCKS.
2. Addressing goats with terms of endearment (i.e., sugar, sweetie,
3. Eating only half an apple and pretending you're full - just so you
can share the remainder with a goat.
4. Remembering every goats birthday without referring to a calendar or
registration papers - AND expecting everyone else in the family to share
in your excitement at the goat's birthday party.
5. Spending an inordinate amount of time at Internet goat sites and
e-mailing perfect strangers about your goats.
6. Canceling vacations because of goats.
7. Missing church because a goat is due to deliver.
8. Buying a bigger farm or ranch so you can buy more goats.
9. Buying goats on credit - putting goats on lay-away - saving for
months to buy a single goat.
10. Taking a second job or second mortgage to support your goat habit.
11. Joining a 12 Step Program or support group because of your goat
12. Insisting that family holiday gatherings are at your farm/ranch
because you can't bear the thought of the goat being alone for the
13. And finally, trying to find decorative uses for goat berries
- such as painting and stringing them like cranberries
for your Christmas tree.
Written by Debbie Whittle